11st January 2009,
10pm, am sitting in the living room, on my couch with my headphone (yes, I look like receptionst, you should see how I look now). Am listening to my favourite Avalon album. Laptop on my lap.. while typing & blogging as the music plays. Trying to come back to my normal blogging habits which I used to love doing in my freetime. Now that I have unlimited internet assess at home, other than downloading stuff, facebook, chatting & surfing.. ya now I should continue to blog, to learn to express again, to learn to open up my heart in words again.
Yes, today's sermon is good. The sermon title is "Invasion on Vision".. Persevering our passion and vision. (Ezra 4:1-24). Briefly talking on the people of God, Judah and Benjamin, who builds a temple (the house of God), and how they persevere through the many attacks and invasion of the enemy that trying to stop their plan. There are 3 attacks of the enemy that we can learn from the passage in Ezra. (1) Compromising, (2) Confusion- mind attack and (3) Legistration (governance and law), which can hinder us from persuing our vision. As for me, I can identify on the first two. With the current cyber world, you can assess any informations with a fingertip into the internet.. the worldly approach, wordly system and scheme that easily entice us, into many different kind of temptations. Yes, I can be a cyber-addict.. I can just sit down on the computer and close myself from other fellowship, just spending time with computer, how unhealthy. Sometimes when I get back from the office, I'll straight go to my laptop, without even talking to mum. This must be stopped!... That is the reason I refused to put up internet connection at home for so long. But now, I just need to learn to practise self-control.
As for aligning with the vision of the church, I know I've not been passionate as I used to be. I wonder will every 'old' Christian experience such different stages? How do you evaluate whether you are 'passionate'? Serving actively in church, reading Bible more, or praying more? It's all about choices, that's what Becky said... no one can judge or gauge on the level of passion. It's you alone to judge it yourself. It's your RELATIONSHIP with God, how much you falling in love with Him, that determine your passion? I must admit I don't do my devotion consistently, sometimes I don't talk to Him, it's shameful to speak, we can read our lover letters/smses time after time and never get bored with it, what more the Word of God! Attack no (2), on the mind... creating confusion... oh how many times I've been so negative on so many things?...
A Christian can experienced so much of the attacks and difficulties, what more those who don't even know Jesus. I should be thankful, at least Daddy is always there guiding us through. And we have the Words of the Living God, but are we utilising it?
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Thursday, January 08, 2009
2009 - A Year of Restructuring
8th January 2009,
11.40pm, Thursday night. This is my first blog entry in 2009. Went to Media Meeting just now, SC shared on "Restructing our Love" for the second time. Am touched again. EPCC theme for this year is A Year of Restructuring - to start with restructuring our love first. The theme is so relevant to us - LOVE is the core of all, the foundation of our faith and action.
I quoted part of the message from Pastor Sam:
"We praise God for a good number of people already active in serving. But we are looking further into just serving in the church ministries. We are looking ito creating a culture of healthy serving and caring of church members. We want ours church members who care ad bear with each other's needs ad develop not only skill to serve but also HEART to LOVE and HONOUR one another...."
Am evaluating myself, my heart. Am I truly firm and secure in love, at least first being secure in Him. I guess maybe I am lacking of that foundation.. and easily swayed around with circumstances and temptation. It's time, it's time.. to restructure my heart, my LOVE for Him, my passions and vision. FOCUS Shirley, stayed FOCUS!!... Be firmly rooted. I was reminded again and again of Hebs,.. Let us throw off everthing that hinders and sin that so easily entangles... RUN, Perseveres on the race set for us. FIX our eyes in Him.. It's abou actions, choices, initiatives... Do it Shirley... Don't give up! Come back from your detour, Come back!
Hebrews 12:1
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
I always thank God for bringng so many wonderful people crossing my path. Godly man and women, they are so ever encouraging, set examples of Godly leadership. My thousands thanks to Becky (not only my CGL but my closest friend in EPCC), Ps Mei (powerful Words, always point us to Christ), Tze Han (humble, simple but great leader)& Celina (eventhough she's younger than me, but spiritually she's like a che che to me...shame on Shirley eh?):PP I need to stop sitting on the fence, but to come down and just do it! Just do it!
Heb12:12 Therefore... strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.
2009- I WANT to renew my love for Him, and renew my spiritual vitality... for His service! But first.. RESTRUCTURING of my LOVE.
11.40pm, Thursday night. This is my first blog entry in 2009. Went to Media Meeting just now, SC shared on "Restructing our Love" for the second time. Am touched again. EPCC theme for this year is A Year of Restructuring - to start with restructuring our love first. The theme is so relevant to us - LOVE is the core of all, the foundation of our faith and action.
I quoted part of the message from Pastor Sam:
"We praise God for a good number of people already active in serving. But we are looking further into just serving in the church ministries. We are looking ito creating a culture of healthy serving and caring of church members. We want ours church members who care ad bear with each other's needs ad develop not only skill to serve but also HEART to LOVE and HONOUR one another...."
Am evaluating myself, my heart. Am I truly firm and secure in love, at least first being secure in Him. I guess maybe I am lacking of that foundation.. and easily swayed around with circumstances and temptation. It's time, it's time.. to restructure my heart, my LOVE for Him, my passions and vision. FOCUS Shirley, stayed FOCUS!!... Be firmly rooted. I was reminded again and again of Hebs,.. Let us throw off everthing that hinders and sin that so easily entangles... RUN, Perseveres on the race set for us. FIX our eyes in Him.. It's abou actions, choices, initiatives... Do it Shirley... Don't give up! Come back from your detour, Come back!
Hebrews 12:1
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
I always thank God for bringng so many wonderful people crossing my path. Godly man and women, they are so ever encouraging, set examples of Godly leadership. My thousands thanks to Becky (not only my CGL but my closest friend in EPCC), Ps Mei (powerful Words, always point us to Christ), Tze Han (humble, simple but great leader)& Celina (eventhough she's younger than me, but spiritually she's like a che che to me...shame on Shirley eh?):PP I need to stop sitting on the fence, but to come down and just do it! Just do it!
Heb12:12 Therefore... strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.
2009- I WANT to renew my love for Him, and renew my spiritual vitality... for His service! But first.. RESTRUCTURING of my LOVE.
Monday, December 01, 2008
Finding Joy
1st December 2008,
4.30pm Monday. It's Moody Monday for me. Maybe wake up wrong side of the bed, bad dreams last night, plus not enough of sleep, plus with my left deaf ear giving me much problems. Right eyes swollen. Oh, what's wrong with me, what's wrong?.. It's hard to imagine life be without sounds, without sights. Need to catch the momentum of persuing life, living life to the fullest. Learn to learn to journey on, need to learn to talk more.. need to learn to express.
Life can be complicated, but happiness is really pretty simple.
Here's some of the Inspirational Quotes that cheered up my Monday:
The heart that gives, gathers - Marianne Moore
Change your thoughts and change your world - Norman Vincent Peale
If you don't stand for something, you will fall for nothing.
Burn brightly without buring out - Richard Biggs
Nothing happens, but first a dream - Carl Sandburg
It is one of the most compensations in life... that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sometimes in the winds of change we find our true direction.
Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow - Norman Vincent Peale
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying..
"I will try again tomorrow." - Mary Anne Radmacher
Laughter is an instant vacation. - Milton Berle
The best sermons are lived, not preached. - Cowboy Wisdom
The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try it,
and the faith to believe it's possible - Rich Devos
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things - Robert Brault
It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny - Jean Nidetch
To love and to be loved is to feel the sun from both sides - David Viscott
Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows - Helen Keller
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless - Mother Teresa
Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there - Will Rogers
Joy is a light that fills you with Hope, Faith and Love.
4.30pm Monday. It's Moody Monday for me. Maybe wake up wrong side of the bed, bad dreams last night, plus not enough of sleep, plus with my left deaf ear giving me much problems. Right eyes swollen. Oh, what's wrong with me, what's wrong?.. It's hard to imagine life be without sounds, without sights. Need to catch the momentum of persuing life, living life to the fullest. Learn to learn to journey on, need to learn to talk more.. need to learn to express.
Life can be complicated, but happiness is really pretty simple.
Here's some of the Inspirational Quotes that cheered up my Monday:
The heart that gives, gathers - Marianne Moore
Change your thoughts and change your world - Norman Vincent Peale
If you don't stand for something, you will fall for nothing.
Burn brightly without buring out - Richard Biggs
Nothing happens, but first a dream - Carl Sandburg
It is one of the most compensations in life... that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sometimes in the winds of change we find our true direction.
Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow - Norman Vincent Peale
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying..
"I will try again tomorrow." - Mary Anne Radmacher
Laughter is an instant vacation. - Milton Berle
The best sermons are lived, not preached. - Cowboy Wisdom
The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try it,
and the faith to believe it's possible - Rich Devos
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things - Robert Brault
It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny - Jean Nidetch
To love and to be loved is to feel the sun from both sides - David Viscott
Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows - Helen Keller
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless - Mother Teresa
Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there - Will Rogers
Joy is a light that fills you with Hope, Faith and Love.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Ready for a Change?
24th November 2008,
5.00pm, Monday great. Yeah.. am blogging from my desk, been a while since my last blog in the office. Today's good, slow and steady. Patient load reducing, good and bad news. Good news because can relax a bit and take things slower. Bad news - with the economic turmoils, low volume means company not making money, means low bonus, less benefit or maybe retrenchment? But hospital not so much affected, don't think we will retrench hospital staff. Company are taking every form of cost containment measures in this bad time. Question asked, am I affected? Hmm.. good question. Guess everyone's affected, the difference is the intensity of the impact to us.
"Change, change.. change". Keep hearing this word, right from March 8th election till now. Am I ready for a change in my life? I've been contemplating on this for long.. maybe it's time for me to put it into action? Moving through the stages of change requires effort and energy for thinking, planning and doing.
(Proachaska and DiClemente Model)
Which stage am I now? In between contemplating and determination? Maybe yeah, praying that I can have the determination to change and put it into action and move along, not turning back? Or maybe I am in preparation time.. to equip myself for new challenges ahead? But whatever it is, am gonna have faith on Him, and journey on with Him!
5.00pm, Monday great. Yeah.. am blogging from my desk, been a while since my last blog in the office. Today's good, slow and steady. Patient load reducing, good and bad news. Good news because can relax a bit and take things slower. Bad news - with the economic turmoils, low volume means company not making money, means low bonus, less benefit or maybe retrenchment? But hospital not so much affected, don't think we will retrench hospital staff. Company are taking every form of cost containment measures in this bad time. Question asked, am I affected? Hmm.. good question. Guess everyone's affected, the difference is the intensity of the impact to us.
"Change, change.. change". Keep hearing this word, right from March 8th election till now. Am I ready for a change in my life? I've been contemplating on this for long.. maybe it's time for me to put it into action? Moving through the stages of change requires effort and energy for thinking, planning and doing.
(Proachaska and DiClemente Model)
Which stage am I now? In between contemplating and determination? Maybe yeah, praying that I can have the determination to change and put it into action and move along, not turning back? Or maybe I am in preparation time.. to equip myself for new challenges ahead? But whatever it is, am gonna have faith on Him, and journey on with Him!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
From the North to the South...
16th September 2008,
2.30pm Tuesday. Yeap yeap, am on leave today. On leave since last Saturday but will be back this Wed (tomorrow) *cries* Am blogging from Celina's desk, the line is lagging, regardless am happy at least I can keep myself occupied while she's working. Mum's doing Sudoku, hehehe.. she's pretty contented staying at home, helping sis doing house chores, tidy up the room, and with her Sudoku, she can just sit whole day just to complete the mission. Myself, okay not too bad, at least it's free time, away from work, away from Penang, taking things slowly and relaxing, spending time with family and love ones- worth the trip.
It's Sept and my last blog was in March. Never knew I've been overly occupied lately. Wish I have more time, or maybe I should make time instead of always complaining not enough time? WK has been back from Maternity Leave since Aug and I've passed over CDR to her, so it free me up to be more focus on the other areas of inconsistency. Yet dunno why I still feel not enough time, it's like so many things to do, and have no ending to my work? it's like accumulate and once you've settled one task, 5 more are awaiting your attention? Oh, probably it's just part and pacel of work life- Job will never ending as long as you're employed. Just need to learn to balance my life, to really search what interest me most and go for it.
Ya, I've been with RDA for almost half year? RDA stands for Horse Riding for Disable Association, it's one of the NGO and self-funded. Am finding joy to just be a side walker, helping the disable kids to mount up the horse, playing games with them while riding.. and it's nice, an eye opener for me seeing life thru' this little wonderful kids. They're just so special, and life is just more than what meet the eyes. It's our perspective, it's the way we live.. it's the journey on without regrets, to live life to the fullest, as a gift from God. Am reading thru' my blogs, and discover am such a negative person. I don't wanna be a complainer, I wanna change on that.. to be positive, to smile at the rain, to always give thanks and praise to Him in whatever circumstances.
Lord helps me when I am in doubt, let me to fall in love with You again and again, and nothing will take away Your love from me. Help me in my detour, draw me back to You each time am about to fail. Guide me with Your Spirit that I will hear and obey..
I love this song, it's playing again and again in me, reminding me of my Creator, how He has formed me in my mothers womb, and knew me and loves me as I am...
Creator King, by Don Moen
You, Who made the mountains and the sea
Measured out the universe and you make me
Echoes of the voice that called the worlds to
throughout the ages and now speak to me
You're my Creator King
You, Who made the valleys and the skies
Displayed Your love on far horizons and before my eyes
You, Who lit the stars and set the dawn in time
Called them all by name and now whisper mine
You're my Creator King
Chorus:
Who am I that You are mindful of me
Who am I that You sent Your love on me
You're my Creator King
You, Who made the darkness and the light
Sun and Moon to watch the day and guard the night
The hand that stretched the heavens like a canopy
Reaches down to cover and watch over me
You're my Creator King
2.30pm Tuesday. Yeap yeap, am on leave today. On leave since last Saturday but will be back this Wed (tomorrow) *cries* Am blogging from Celina's desk, the line is lagging, regardless am happy at least I can keep myself occupied while she's working. Mum's doing Sudoku, hehehe.. she's pretty contented staying at home, helping sis doing house chores, tidy up the room, and with her Sudoku, she can just sit whole day just to complete the mission. Myself, okay not too bad, at least it's free time, away from work, away from Penang, taking things slowly and relaxing, spending time with family and love ones- worth the trip.
It's Sept and my last blog was in March. Never knew I've been overly occupied lately. Wish I have more time, or maybe I should make time instead of always complaining not enough time? WK has been back from Maternity Leave since Aug and I've passed over CDR to her, so it free me up to be more focus on the other areas of inconsistency. Yet dunno why I still feel not enough time, it's like so many things to do, and have no ending to my work? it's like accumulate and once you've settled one task, 5 more are awaiting your attention? Oh, probably it's just part and pacel of work life- Job will never ending as long as you're employed. Just need to learn to balance my life, to really search what interest me most and go for it.
Ya, I've been with RDA for almost half year? RDA stands for Horse Riding for Disable Association, it's one of the NGO and self-funded. Am finding joy to just be a side walker, helping the disable kids to mount up the horse, playing games with them while riding.. and it's nice, an eye opener for me seeing life thru' this little wonderful kids. They're just so special, and life is just more than what meet the eyes. It's our perspective, it's the way we live.. it's the journey on without regrets, to live life to the fullest, as a gift from God. Am reading thru' my blogs, and discover am such a negative person. I don't wanna be a complainer, I wanna change on that.. to be positive, to smile at the rain, to always give thanks and praise to Him in whatever circumstances.
Lord helps me when I am in doubt, let me to fall in love with You again and again, and nothing will take away Your love from me. Help me in my detour, draw me back to You each time am about to fail. Guide me with Your Spirit that I will hear and obey..
I love this song, it's playing again and again in me, reminding me of my Creator, how He has formed me in my mothers womb, and knew me and loves me as I am...
Creator King, by Don Moen
You, Who made the mountains and the sea
Measured out the universe and you make me
Echoes of the voice that called the worlds to
throughout the ages and now speak to me
You're my Creator King
You, Who made the valleys and the skies
Displayed Your love on far horizons and before my eyes
You, Who lit the stars and set the dawn in time
Called them all by name and now whisper mine
You're my Creator King
Chorus:
Who am I that You are mindful of me
Who am I that You sent Your love on me
You're my Creator King
You, Who made the darkness and the light
Sun and Moon to watch the day and guard the night
The hand that stretched the heavens like a canopy
Reaches down to cover and watch over me
You're my Creator King
Monday, March 17, 2008
Busy Days Ahead
17th March 2008,
It's a tiring Monday, just like what Gavin used to describe, being run down by a truck. Yeah whole body muscle aching and feel so lethagic, as if not been sleeping for days. I missed my bed so much, wanna just stop thinking anything, blanko my head and go into deep deep sedation.
Has been a while didn't update my blog. Looking through previous blogs, I guess I should have at least post one blog a month. It's March and April's coming soon. Time flies...again, am using the same words- TIME FLIES, Time SPEED! So what's the happenings on me? Any updates? I guess if you were to ask my church friends, they'll tell you Shirley has been MIA for a while, MIA= Missing In Action. Yeah, has not been attending Sunday service for 2 consecutive weeks. Went to Ipoh first week of March, went back hometown to vote on second week and last week, also went to Ipoh. Hmm.. has been traveling lots. Tiring, definitely but it's worth the travels :P but I also missed Pr. Sam's sermon. Hmm.. yeah, I hate the feeling of neither here nor there..as if I am hanging on the air..floating around. I wish sister to come back Penang soon, but for me to demand her to come back it's will be a selfish act. I can only trust God's timing. But if she comes back, will it be easy for me to decide on the next course? Mum made some remarks last night. She said I'm so undecided to relocate because am not willing to give up my job, not really because of 'her'. Feel a little disappointed of the remarks. Definitely it'll not be easy for me to 'give up' my current job. But if it's God's will, He will make a new openings for me, won't He?
Life has been tiring and busy. Usually I won'y find such time to sit down and do blogging, will be either at CDR Unit, or back in my room doing all the documentation and PP review, preparing for Sept audits. Oh I hate audits, all the standards and paperwork, it slows me down. Didn't even have time to communicate well with staff. WK going for Maternity leaves soon, and I need to be prepared for the worse scenario if I couldn't get any replacement. Crying deep inside how to overcome this.
This week sermon was good. Both Fernando's sharing and Ps. Timothy's sermon touching on the similar thing, about PASSION. Yes and as I evaluating myself, I realise I've not been passionate as I have been before. Is it due to the things around me? Work matters? Lack of fellowship with Christian, lack of involvement in church? Or stale devotional time?.. Where is my passion? And how to rekindle passion? Where's my talent? I need to rediscover my talent and use it, else it will be taken back from me..
It's a tiring Monday, just like what Gavin used to describe, being run down by a truck. Yeah whole body muscle aching and feel so lethagic, as if not been sleeping for days. I missed my bed so much, wanna just stop thinking anything, blanko my head and go into deep deep sedation.
Has been a while didn't update my blog. Looking through previous blogs, I guess I should have at least post one blog a month. It's March and April's coming soon. Time flies...again, am using the same words- TIME FLIES, Time SPEED! So what's the happenings on me? Any updates? I guess if you were to ask my church friends, they'll tell you Shirley has been MIA for a while, MIA= Missing In Action. Yeah, has not been attending Sunday service for 2 consecutive weeks. Went to Ipoh first week of March, went back hometown to vote on second week and last week, also went to Ipoh. Hmm.. has been traveling lots. Tiring, definitely but it's worth the travels :P but I also missed Pr. Sam's sermon. Hmm.. yeah, I hate the feeling of neither here nor there..as if I am hanging on the air..floating around. I wish sister to come back Penang soon, but for me to demand her to come back it's will be a selfish act. I can only trust God's timing. But if she comes back, will it be easy for me to decide on the next course? Mum made some remarks last night. She said I'm so undecided to relocate because am not willing to give up my job, not really because of 'her'. Feel a little disappointed of the remarks. Definitely it'll not be easy for me to 'give up' my current job. But if it's God's will, He will make a new openings for me, won't He?
Life has been tiring and busy. Usually I won'y find such time to sit down and do blogging, will be either at CDR Unit, or back in my room doing all the documentation and PP review, preparing for Sept audits. Oh I hate audits, all the standards and paperwork, it slows me down. Didn't even have time to communicate well with staff. WK going for Maternity leaves soon, and I need to be prepared for the worse scenario if I couldn't get any replacement. Crying deep inside how to overcome this.
This week sermon was good. Both Fernando's sharing and Ps. Timothy's sermon touching on the similar thing, about PASSION. Yes and as I evaluating myself, I realise I've not been passionate as I have been before. Is it due to the things around me? Work matters? Lack of fellowship with Christian, lack of involvement in church? Or stale devotional time?.. Where is my passion? And how to rekindle passion? Where's my talent? I need to rediscover my talent and use it, else it will be taken back from me..
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
What is Next?.. Put on a first step..
5th February 2008,
5.30pm Tuesday. Another day will be CNY, will be working for half day tomorrow, then CNY. This year don't really have much CNY mood, probably as we growing the mood just fading. So this year is no exception, gonna celebrate it with simplicity, a reunion dinner with family, then maybe visit one Aunty in Penang, that's all. Gonna start work 3rd day of CNY, don't wanna waste my leave, only when really necessary else will not take off.
Yeah, has been thinking and reflecting on my lives, and also asking God what's next in my life? Am I reaching a point of making some detour? What is installed for me next? Life has been pretty busy lately.. and time speeding through, many times in my life, I stop and question. Yet it's just a question without any action, always 'see how' yet didn't really take a concrite step of faith? FAITH... ya, this word appears very frequently, through sermon, sharing in church etc. Am thinking, whether such season, is it God is challenging me to put some step of faith, before seeing a breakthrough?... A 'first' step, and God will do the rest? Can I be sure if I put that little first step, God will take care of the rest?.. I need the assurance, am too afraid to make a drastic change. Am I not trusting God enough? He who cares for the lilies on the field, He who knows every single of our hairs, He who willing to give up His Son for us, will He not care for us? Oh Shirley... what a little faith, where is my faith? Just a first small step, just like a little mustard seed, that will move mountain... He has a NEXT plans for me, ONLY if I able to step forward the first step.
5.30pm Tuesday. Another day will be CNY, will be working for half day tomorrow, then CNY. This year don't really have much CNY mood, probably as we growing the mood just fading. So this year is no exception, gonna celebrate it with simplicity, a reunion dinner with family, then maybe visit one Aunty in Penang, that's all. Gonna start work 3rd day of CNY, don't wanna waste my leave, only when really necessary else will not take off.
Yeah, has been thinking and reflecting on my lives, and also asking God what's next in my life? Am I reaching a point of making some detour? What is installed for me next? Life has been pretty busy lately.. and time speeding through, many times in my life, I stop and question. Yet it's just a question without any action, always 'see how' yet didn't really take a concrite step of faith? FAITH... ya, this word appears very frequently, through sermon, sharing in church etc. Am thinking, whether such season, is it God is challenging me to put some step of faith, before seeing a breakthrough?... A 'first' step, and God will do the rest? Can I be sure if I put that little first step, God will take care of the rest?.. I need the assurance, am too afraid to make a drastic change. Am I not trusting God enough? He who cares for the lilies on the field, He who knows every single of our hairs, He who willing to give up His Son for us, will He not care for us? Oh Shirley... what a little faith, where is my faith? Just a first small step, just like a little mustard seed, that will move mountain... He has a NEXT plans for me, ONLY if I able to step forward the first step.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
2008 - A year of New Beginning
19th Jan 2008,
12.30pm Saturday. This is my first blog entry in 2008.. has been very long since my last personal blog. Few times trying to put my thoughts in words, but overly concious to express myself, or to be read by others. So this blog in a way has slowly faded off. Need to revive again..
Read Celina's Blog just now, I can see the similarity in us, even though there are few differences here and there. She perceived me as someone who's confident, strong and independant, or..rather successful. Hmm.. am trying to analyse myself, am I fit such qualities? Or what is my real character? I am fearful and wonderfully made,.. and He knew me and carefully manufactured me even in my mother's womb. Yeah, I am complex and special in His sight. As I see the different people that God has brought in my lives, I keep reflecting myself. One thing I know full well about me, I am a 'man-pleaser'. In a way, I mind how others see and perceive me, and in another way, I don't like people to be unhappy. Sometimes, I can be real ignorant of others feelings, yet overall I am a careful person and more of the accomodative type.
Today's title is about "2008, a year of New Beginning". I am fearful what is installed for me in 2008. Even with a long list of Resolutions made before the New Year, am just wonder..whether all these will come to past, whether each of my resolutions will be met, or I will ever get near any of them. However, I gonna just trust it to His Hands and Care.. man can plans but ultimately He is the One that make it works. Am checking on myself 'spiritually' for the past weeks. Last night CG was good. I thank God for my CG, even tho' it's not as exciting or happening as my previous CG with all the Young Adults, but Shekinah CG has many wonderful people, and 'experienced' people, and 'wise' people. Yeah.. some visitors said we're 'serious' people..ya we are serious in His Words and Works, and I can say I learned a whole lots of wisdom from the Cell. Last night we were sharing about "Facets of Faith" in Isa 54: 1. Faith Response 2. Faith Actions 3. Faith Walk. I am encouraged to hear so many 'faith' expereinces from the members, and am trying hard to think.. ya, when is the last time I am challenged in 'faith'? Or my life has been pretty easy going for the past years? I hope not to see complacency in my walk. Something must be wrong... Am lacking of passion lately. Where is my focus?
A lot of reflections. This year is the year of NEW Beginning? And it's NEVER too late?..Never too late yeah? What is NEXT for me? What should be my next step? Am I willing to be stretched in my faith walk? And to be obedience in following Him? Where is my focus at this moment?.. Work? Family? Church? Relationship?
12.30pm Saturday. This is my first blog entry in 2008.. has been very long since my last personal blog. Few times trying to put my thoughts in words, but overly concious to express myself, or to be read by others. So this blog in a way has slowly faded off. Need to revive again..
Read Celina's Blog just now, I can see the similarity in us, even though there are few differences here and there. She perceived me as someone who's confident, strong and independant, or..rather successful. Hmm.. am trying to analyse myself, am I fit such qualities? Or what is my real character? I am fearful and wonderfully made,.. and He knew me and carefully manufactured me even in my mother's womb. Yeah, I am complex and special in His sight. As I see the different people that God has brought in my lives, I keep reflecting myself. One thing I know full well about me, I am a 'man-pleaser'. In a way, I mind how others see and perceive me, and in another way, I don't like people to be unhappy. Sometimes, I can be real ignorant of others feelings, yet overall I am a careful person and more of the accomodative type.
Today's title is about "2008, a year of New Beginning". I am fearful what is installed for me in 2008. Even with a long list of Resolutions made before the New Year, am just wonder..whether all these will come to past, whether each of my resolutions will be met, or I will ever get near any of them. However, I gonna just trust it to His Hands and Care.. man can plans but ultimately He is the One that make it works. Am checking on myself 'spiritually' for the past weeks. Last night CG was good. I thank God for my CG, even tho' it's not as exciting or happening as my previous CG with all the Young Adults, but Shekinah CG has many wonderful people, and 'experienced' people, and 'wise' people. Yeah.. some visitors said we're 'serious' people..ya we are serious in His Words and Works, and I can say I learned a whole lots of wisdom from the Cell. Last night we were sharing about "Facets of Faith" in Isa 54: 1. Faith Response 2. Faith Actions 3. Faith Walk. I am encouraged to hear so many 'faith' expereinces from the members, and am trying hard to think.. ya, when is the last time I am challenged in 'faith'? Or my life has been pretty easy going for the past years? I hope not to see complacency in my walk. Something must be wrong... Am lacking of passion lately. Where is my focus?
A lot of reflections. This year is the year of NEW Beginning? And it's NEVER too late?..Never too late yeah? What is NEXT for me? What should be my next step? Am I willing to be stretched in my faith walk? And to be obedience in following Him? Where is my focus at this moment?.. Work? Family? Church? Relationship?
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Have You Asked God about It?
The men of Israel looked them over and accepted the evidence. But they didn't ask God about it. Joshua 9:14
It's hard to remain humble when you've just walked through the Red Sea without getting wet, and conquered Jericho , the biggest city in the Promised Land. Over-confidence can be deadly! Flushed with victory the Israelites thought they didn't need to consult God or listen to what He had to say concerning their next move. It's quite a story. The crafty Gibeonites realised they couldn't win against God's people so they sent out a team of negotiators to make peace with them. And it worked! Even though they were lying, Joshua presumed they were telling the truth and signed a peace treaty. It was one of the biggest mistakes of his life! From that day on the Gibeonites were a constant thorn in Israel 's side. Joshua lived to regret that he "didn't ask God about it." Fanny Crosby, the blind songwriter, wrote: "O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear. All because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer!"
It's frightening how easily we move from relying on God to relying on ourselves, or trusting in a method because it worked in the past, or doing what everybody else is doing. Hearing from God for yourself is what gives you the edge; leaving Him out is what gets you into trouble.
If you have a tendency to move too quickly or to operate in your own strength and skill, pray for a red light in your Spirit. Ask God to let you know when you're moving in your own will rather than in His. It'll save you untold heartache!
Monday, December 17, 2007
How to Pray When You are Worried
Are you worried today? Have you lost your peace of mind? Begin to pray this prayer until it takes root in your heart and becomes your fixed attitude:
"Father, You told me not to be afraid because You are with me, You will uphold me, and those who come against me will not succeed. You said no evil would come upon me, nor any plague touch my home for You have ordered Your angels to protect me. Psalm 91:10-11 You said when I walk through rivers of difficulty (when I'm 'in over my head') You won't let me drown, and when I walk through fires of adversity (when 'the heat is on') You won't allow me to get burned for You are watching over me.
You said no weapon formed against me shall prosper. I cannot keep the enemy's weapons from being formed, but I know You will keep them from prospering. You said if I ask anything according to Your will, You would grant my request.
You said when I walk in obedience before You I will be blessed when I come in and blessed when I go out, blessed when I lie down and blessed when I get up. Deuteronomy 28:6
You told me to give all my troubles to You and You would take care of me. 1 Peter 5:7
So here they are! Today I'm standing on Your Word. You said it! I believe it! That settles it! Amen."
"Father, You told me not to be afraid because You are with me, You will uphold me, and those who come against me will not succeed. You said no evil would come upon me, nor any plague touch my home for You have ordered Your angels to protect me. Psalm 91:10-11 You said when I walk through rivers of difficulty (when I'm 'in over my head') You won't let me drown, and when I walk through fires of adversity (when 'the heat is on') You won't allow me to get burned for You are watching over me.
You said no weapon formed against me shall prosper. I cannot keep the enemy's weapons from being formed, but I know You will keep them from prospering. You said if I ask anything according to Your will, You would grant my request.
You said when I walk in obedience before You I will be blessed when I come in and blessed when I go out, blessed when I lie down and blessed when I get up. Deuteronomy 28:6
You told me to give all my troubles to You and You would take care of me. 1 Peter 5:7
So here they are! Today I'm standing on Your Word. You said it! I believe it! That settles it! Amen."
Friday, November 02, 2007
Shirley's Johari Window
Arena(known to self and others) accepting, helpful, independent, modest, self-conscious, shy | Blind Spot(known only to others) able, adaptable, bold, brave, calm, caring, cheerful, clever, complex, confident, dependable, friendly, giving, happy, idealistic, intelligent, kind, knowledgeable, logical, loving, mature, nervous, observant, organised, patient, quiet, reflective, relaxed, religious, responsive, searching, self-assertive, sentimental, silly, spontaneous, sympathetic, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty |
Façade(known only to self) | Unknown(known to nobody) dignified, energetic, extroverted, ingenious, introverted, powerful, proud, sensible, tense |
Dominant Traits
61% of people think that Shirley Moy is caring
All Percentages
able (2%) accepting (2%) adaptable (5%) bold (8%) brave (8%) calm (14%) caring (61%) cheerful (14%) clever (8%) complex (8%) confident (17%) dependable (5%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (41%) giving (14%) happy (5%) helpful (41%) idealistic (2%) independent (32%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (14%) introverted (0%) kind (29%) knowledgeable (14%) logical (2%) loving (20%) mature (8%) modest (11%) nervous (2%) observant (2%) organised (8%) patient (11%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (2%) reflective (2%) relaxed (5%) religious (20%) responsive (5%) searching (5%) self-assertive (5%) self-conscious (11%) sensible (0%) sentimental (14%) shy (8%) silly (2%) spontaneous (2%) sympathetic (2%) tense (0%) trustworthy (14%) warm (8%) wise (2%) witty (2%)
Description Breakdown (34 people)
strider thinks: friendly, independent, silly, caring, happy, relaxed.
Eric thinks: caring, helpful, self-conscious, searching, friendly, independent.
Lam Chee Chung thinks: shy, helpful, able, calm, modest, quiet.
yn thinks: calm, friendly, giving, caring, kind, mature.
Celina thinks: organised, confident, complex, idealistic, self-conscious, sentimental.
anonymous thinks: kind, helpful, knowledgeable, organised, calm.
herbert dsp thinks: friendly, independent, giving, caring, searching, spontaneous.
Cheah Keat thinks: loving, caring, helpful, giving, sentimental.
Ray thinks: wise, responsive, logical, trustworthy, confident, complex.
Minh Ha thinks: cheerful, mature, trustworthy, friendly, intelligent.
nexusrao thinks: helpful, religious, loving, caring, knowledgeable, bold.
Anonymous thinks: adaptable, confident, helpful, independent, trustworthy, cheerful.
Jeslyn thinks: friendly, caring, sentimental, organised, confident.
masy13 thinks: caring, helpful, independent, sentimental, accepting.
jonny thinks: independent, confident, brave, knowledgeable, responsive, patient.
cougar thinks: caring, friendly, intelligent, patient, loving.
larissa thinks: loving, clever, kind, religious, caring, friendly.
ronald koh thinks: knowledgeable, religious, self-assertive, adaptable, friendly.
Thierry thinks: loving, relaxed, caring, intelligent, modest.
Chaiyun thinks: caring, religious, trustworthy, helpful, self-conscious.
csti thinks: caring, dependable, helpful, kind, religious, warm.
jasNkoh thinks: confident, intelligent, calm, kind, helpful, reflective.
Anonymous thinks: independent, caring, cheerful, modest, bold, helpful.
Jason thinks: witty, independent, loving, self-assertive, caring, giving.
Mnemosyne thinks: caring, friendly, brave, happy, independent.
Pr.Sam thinks: caring, knowledgeable, modest, trustworthy, mature, helpful.
Serena thinks: complex, friendly, giving, helpful, kind.
anonymous thinks: nervous, sentimental, self-conscious, kind, brave, caring.
Waikuan thinks: calm, caring, loving, patient, sympathetic, helpful.
Soo Hsia thinks: caring, cheerful, clever, shy, warm.
jeff thinks: friendly, observant, intelligent, clever, kind.
Brandon thinks: religious, friendly, warm, kind, shy.
joe thinks: independent, kind, cheerful, patient, dependable.
Huey Meng thinks: independent, caring, religious, bold, friendly.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
He made all things beautiful in His time
30th October 2007,
It's October, 2 more days then it'll be November and 2 more months it's 2008. Time flies.. ya ya ya, time really really flies. I really wish I can put a brake on the clock to pause...to stop it from clicking, or maybe reverse the time. But I know I can't! You can't redeem the time that has been lost! I always imagine how wonderful it is, if I have all the controls on time, whether to forward it, or to reverse it. Ya.. there's one old movie, about time machine.. really can't remember the title. Another recent movie is CLICK... just a click on the hand..
I guess I need some changes in my life. I'm in the comfort zone, doing everyday' mundane, routine.. not sure of the next direction, will I be staying in Penang for my whole life? Or, if there's opportunity to relocate, will I be willing to do so? ...Whar's next for me? Was talking to Dr Leong this morning,.. I shared that am not sure how long I'll be staying in GMC, things getting routine and mundane.. I should have been learning other new things?... Many things in my mind..about the future, about the right timing.. I need to rest assured of His omnipotent, and to rest assured that He made ALL things BEAUTIFUL in His TIME. He holds the time in His hands... A thousand days seem one day in to Him, He is the reason for the season..whatever season we may be in... He made all things beautiful in His time!
It's October, 2 more days then it'll be November and 2 more months it's 2008. Time flies.. ya ya ya, time really really flies. I really wish I can put a brake on the clock to pause...to stop it from clicking, or maybe reverse the time. But I know I can't! You can't redeem the time that has been lost! I always imagine how wonderful it is, if I have all the controls on time, whether to forward it, or to reverse it. Ya.. there's one old movie, about time machine.. really can't remember the title. Another recent movie is CLICK... just a click on the hand..
I guess I need some changes in my life. I'm in the comfort zone, doing everyday' mundane, routine.. not sure of the next direction, will I be staying in Penang for my whole life? Or, if there's opportunity to relocate, will I be willing to do so? ...Whar's next for me? Was talking to Dr Leong this morning,.. I shared that am not sure how long I'll be staying in GMC, things getting routine and mundane.. I should have been learning other new things?... Many things in my mind..about the future, about the right timing.. I need to rest assured of His omnipotent, and to rest assured that He made ALL things BEAUTIFUL in His TIME. He holds the time in His hands... A thousand days seem one day in to Him, He is the reason for the season..whatever season we may be in... He made all things beautiful in His time!
Lord, what's next for me? I believe You have a good plan for me, a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, a plan to give me hope and future. What's next, in this stage... am I done? If not, what's Your next? Help me to see a bigger pictures of what You have for me, help me to see that in the eyes of Faith, help me to discover Your mystery, help me to be in Your Plan...
God's Wisdom vs. Worldly Wisdom
30th October 2007,
4.30pm Tuesday. Today has been real busy, was on leave yesterday and the load just pick up. But am coping well.
Has been doing a lot of soul-searching for the past few weeks. Evaluating my reaction in the workplace, analyzing myself... my response towards offenses and criticism. Am actually not a person of strong character, strong character in the sense of iron-willed, but I can be determined if I want to do something that I feels right. It's a little mixture. I can also be very emotional..which is vey bad. I can mixed my emotion in how I handle issues in life, in work. And to some point I can be very defensive. As I analyzing myself, I realise that my character has changed over time. I don't know whether this is good, or this is normal. People said your temperament will change over time, depending on your dealing each day. What a complexity of human nature...
When I was young, I always feel like wanting to grow up fast into adulthood, but now.. as I'm aging, I wanna return to my childhood time. As I reflect back, maybe... I lost the 'innocent' of being a child, or 'childlikeness', or the "naive-ness". I hope it's not too late to realise this.. We're in the world but not of the world. We work not in human-system for God-system.. God's way of thinking is higher than worldly thinking. If worldly wisdom holds us back from God, it's NOT wisdom at all. We must be careful,..Ro 12:10 is very true, not to CONFORM to the standard of the world, but to be TRANSFORMED by renewing our mind.
4.30pm Tuesday. Today has been real busy, was on leave yesterday and the load just pick up. But am coping well.
Has been doing a lot of soul-searching for the past few weeks. Evaluating my reaction in the workplace, analyzing myself... my response towards offenses and criticism. Am actually not a person of strong character, strong character in the sense of iron-willed, but I can be determined if I want to do something that I feels right. It's a little mixture. I can also be very emotional..which is vey bad. I can mixed my emotion in how I handle issues in life, in work. And to some point I can be very defensive. As I analyzing myself, I realise that my character has changed over time. I don't know whether this is good, or this is normal. People said your temperament will change over time, depending on your dealing each day. What a complexity of human nature...
When I was young, I always feel like wanting to grow up fast into adulthood, but now.. as I'm aging, I wanna return to my childhood time. As I reflect back, maybe... I lost the 'innocent' of being a child, or 'childlikeness', or the "naive-ness". I hope it's not too late to realise this.. We're in the world but not of the world. We work not in human-system for God-system.. God's way of thinking is higher than worldly thinking. If worldly wisdom holds us back from God, it's NOT wisdom at all. We must be careful,..Ro 12:10 is very true, not to CONFORM to the standard of the world, but to be TRANSFORMED by renewing our mind.
Monday, October 22, 2007
A Woman's Secret .. and her Prayer
A Woman's Secret .. and her Prayer
There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years.
They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents.
"When we were to be married," she said,"my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.
He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"
"Oh," she said,"that's the money I made from selling all the dolls.
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Women will love this...
A Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods;
Because Lord,
if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years.
They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents.
"When we were to be married," she said,"my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.
He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"
"Oh," she said,"that's the money I made from selling all the dolls.
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Women will love this...
A Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods;
Because Lord,
if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
It's Spring Time!
16th Octber 2007,
It seems like years since my last blog. Need to start back my blogging routine... else will slowly fade off. Many things happened since July till Oct. Were I to count it all, this blog will be real real lengthy. Life has been good thus far, sweet- sour experiences. Life journey on, a growing stage each day.. learning to lean on God's care, appreciating the new chapter of my life, learning to see God thru' each circumstances, always for our own good. It's not only easy for us to loose sight in hard times, but in good times if we're not careful.. it's so easy to slack away... into complacency and self-dependance. Watch and Pray.. so that we don't fall into temptation of the world, that we may be discerned to know the season in our lives... especially in the Spring time.
Today has been good, not much of chemo cases today coz my doc on half-day leave. Yeah.. I'm now doing chemo, not really doing recons, but mainly checking the regimen before it goes to patient. My pharmacist is pregnant, so she should not be exposed to the Cytotoxic drugs, especially over the initial 16 weeks. Other than that, work is routine - it's steady and well, all in all am in good control. Went for lunch with my ex-coursemate just now.. we chatted about our old buddies during schooling time. Seem like I've lost touch with a lot of my pals, most of them were married and with kids... yeah time flies... but over all God is good..and He never change, He's the same yesterday, today and forever... Even when many will fails, yet He will never fail us!
It seems like years since my last blog. Need to start back my blogging routine... else will slowly fade off. Many things happened since July till Oct. Were I to count it all, this blog will be real real lengthy. Life has been good thus far, sweet- sour experiences. Life journey on, a growing stage each day.. learning to lean on God's care, appreciating the new chapter of my life, learning to see God thru' each circumstances, always for our own good. It's not only easy for us to loose sight in hard times, but in good times if we're not careful.. it's so easy to slack away... into complacency and self-dependance. Watch and Pray.. so that we don't fall into temptation of the world, that we may be discerned to know the season in our lives... especially in the Spring time.
Today has been good, not much of chemo cases today coz my doc on half-day leave. Yeah.. I'm now doing chemo, not really doing recons, but mainly checking the regimen before it goes to patient. My pharmacist is pregnant, so she should not be exposed to the Cytotoxic drugs, especially over the initial 16 weeks. Other than that, work is routine - it's steady and well, all in all am in good control. Went for lunch with my ex-coursemate just now.. we chatted about our old buddies during schooling time. Seem like I've lost touch with a lot of my pals, most of them were married and with kids... yeah time flies... but over all God is good..and He never change, He's the same yesterday, today and forever... Even when many will fails, yet He will never fail us!
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Long long week, busy day
4th July 2007,
5.15pm Wednesday. Am so tired, body aching. It has been a long long week and a busy speedy week. Nevertheless, am making time for blogging. Many things happened for the pass few weeks. Trying to recall and data it one by one.
I got my new Pharmacist. Her name is WK, and guess what? She is older than me, with many years experience in Managerial position. Today is her 3rd day of work, and she is catching on the job. I hope she able to cope with our culture and stay on. Just her first day of work, I already heard comments from my staff that all pharmacist in GMC will not stay long. Am very disappointed by what they said. Half truth. I really don't think I can cope without another Pharmacist.
Second things: Hmm.. I got an accident. I wouldn't say "accident", coz it's not really a major or serious stuff. I went for lunch with Mag and Charmine at OFA, suddenly as I was reversing my car to straighten my parking, a car Kia Chitra Black rushed thru and our cars touched. Nothing serious, just 2 lines of 3 inches scratches on the car, undented at all. And this lady was so unreasonable, asking for RM150 for just a minor scratches? That is just ridiculous! She threaten me that she will report police and I will get 2 summons for that if I don't pay. I was scared at that moment. But my senoir staff told me to report police, so I went. But am too silly that I forgotten her plate number. That should be the first thing I suppose to do in each accident. The Sarjan sat with us, trying to understand on the whole scenario, and he said, if I am the one that reverse I will be at fault. The next day the gal called me again- she trying to reduce to RM100, then RM85, but I sticked on RM75 only I will able to pay. So finally I paid her! After some thought, I feel so bitter, she is so unreasonable and ridicule me so many times, I should have paid her the amount. I feel that I am being bullied, silly Shirley. Am so angry! I learnt my lesson.
Weddings. Yeah, many weddings this year, my church have 7 weddings altogether. That excluding my other frens' wedding. Gosh, each time weddings I will always being asked to help in coordination. Never know how to reject people, don't wanna spoilt their weddings. But I have learnt a lot while helping in weddings. Some of my frens have fancy fancy ideas for their weddings. Some, marching in with Vespa, instead of normal walking. Some instead of lighting up candles during unification, they tie knot, or pouring 2 different colour sands into one bottle. Hahahah..so many ideas, my wedding can 'ciplak' the ideas. Nahh...my wedding gonna be just simple, no fancy fancy stuff.
I just back to work today. Supposed to be on-leave today, but cancelled my leave. I was hosting my ex-roomate from Sibu for a day yesterday, and they only stayed for a day, and went back earlier than the scheduled. It's tiring to be host. Driving them around, taking them to Bt Ferringhi night market till 1am. Wow, it's tiring because I don't really like to go around, or maybe I am really aging. The old bones can't stand the travel. Yet it's really wonderful fellowshipping with my fren, she's more than a sister to me.
It's July, the time flies, so quickly! So quickly. I wish I can just stop the time, to pause and reflect on my life. But it's just so quick, have I missed anything? How do you look at life? Other than work, church, family?.. Life goes on. I wish I can freeze the time, to take all the time I need to improve on what is lacking, to relearn new skills, to undo all the mistakes I've done. But I know I can't, what I can do now is to seize the day, just seize the day!
5.15pm Wednesday. Am so tired, body aching. It has been a long long week and a busy speedy week. Nevertheless, am making time for blogging. Many things happened for the pass few weeks. Trying to recall and data it one by one.
I got my new Pharmacist. Her name is WK, and guess what? She is older than me, with many years experience in Managerial position. Today is her 3rd day of work, and she is catching on the job. I hope she able to cope with our culture and stay on. Just her first day of work, I already heard comments from my staff that all pharmacist in GMC will not stay long. Am very disappointed by what they said. Half truth. I really don't think I can cope without another Pharmacist.
Second things: Hmm.. I got an accident. I wouldn't say "accident", coz it's not really a major or serious stuff. I went for lunch with Mag and Charmine at OFA, suddenly as I was reversing my car to straighten my parking, a car Kia Chitra Black rushed thru and our cars touched. Nothing serious, just 2 lines of 3 inches scratches on the car, undented at all. And this lady was so unreasonable, asking for RM150 for just a minor scratches? That is just ridiculous! She threaten me that she will report police and I will get 2 summons for that if I don't pay. I was scared at that moment. But my senoir staff told me to report police, so I went. But am too silly that I forgotten her plate number. That should be the first thing I suppose to do in each accident. The Sarjan sat with us, trying to understand on the whole scenario, and he said, if I am the one that reverse I will be at fault. The next day the gal called me again- she trying to reduce to RM100, then RM85, but I sticked on RM75 only I will able to pay. So finally I paid her! After some thought, I feel so bitter, she is so unreasonable and ridicule me so many times, I should have paid her the amount. I feel that I am being bullied, silly Shirley. Am so angry! I learnt my lesson.
Weddings. Yeah, many weddings this year, my church have 7 weddings altogether. That excluding my other frens' wedding. Gosh, each time weddings I will always being asked to help in coordination. Never know how to reject people, don't wanna spoilt their weddings. But I have learnt a lot while helping in weddings. Some of my frens have fancy fancy ideas for their weddings. Some, marching in with Vespa, instead of normal walking. Some instead of lighting up candles during unification, they tie knot, or pouring 2 different colour sands into one bottle. Hahahah..so many ideas, my wedding can 'ciplak' the ideas. Nahh...my wedding gonna be just simple, no fancy fancy stuff.
I just back to work today. Supposed to be on-leave today, but cancelled my leave. I was hosting my ex-roomate from Sibu for a day yesterday, and they only stayed for a day, and went back earlier than the scheduled. It's tiring to be host. Driving them around, taking them to Bt Ferringhi night market till 1am. Wow, it's tiring because I don't really like to go around, or maybe I am really aging. The old bones can't stand the travel. Yet it's really wonderful fellowshipping with my fren, she's more than a sister to me.
It's July, the time flies, so quickly! So quickly. I wish I can just stop the time, to pause and reflect on my life. But it's just so quick, have I missed anything? How do you look at life? Other than work, church, family?.. Life goes on. I wish I can freeze the time, to take all the time I need to improve on what is lacking, to relearn new skills, to undo all the mistakes I've done. But I know I can't, what I can do now is to seize the day, just seize the day!
Monday, June 25, 2007
Diabetes Management Workshop, Crowne Princess Hotel
25th June 2007,
2.00pm, It's still my lunch time, so doing my blog before starting my work. Today am tired, and weary. Reached Penang last nite, about 9pm, then after dinner and packing my stuff, collapse into deep sleep. So tired.
Yesterday was stuck in KLIA for almost 5 hours. I was so confident that will able to get standby flight yesterday. My original departure is 7.15pm, but since nothing much in the conference, we went off after lunch. 5 hours time...even though tiring, but it's passed by very fast. Maybe because I didn't travel alone, was travelling with Mei Jen, the Head of Pharmacy in Loh Guan Lye Specialist Centre. This round workshop was very boring, the lecturers really boring, loaded us with "Educational and Scientific" lectures which is not really practical.
One surprise I wanna share here that's happening during the trip. There're 3 persons from penang attending the conference: myself, Mei Jen, and Ganesh from Pantai Mutiara. And I meet up with Ms Chua, from Fatimah Hospital, Ipoh. Usually whenever I go KL, I'll go out with my frens, Christian frens: Kawai, Angie, Lee Hua, Kenneth etc. But this round trip is different. I spent more time with Pharmacists, people I am not very close with. And thru this trip too, I get to know more about the persons. And guess what? I brought 3 frens to SIB Church. It's my first time attending the church, and 3 non-Christians were with me for the first time too. Isn't it cool?!!
Wow, I am tired, so tired today. Lack of sleep. Tonite will have meeting with Emmeline and Jerry on their wedding, am a Sub-corordinator again. Up to date, been co-ordinate for 4 times, plus with this one. I notice that weddings nowadays has become more 'fancy'. My fren spent more than RM55,000 just for a wedding. Gosh! Wedding is just for a moment, but marriage a lifetime. I wonder how my wedding will be? Oh oh..Shirley's Day-dreaming now...Hahahaha..
2.00pm, It's still my lunch time, so doing my blog before starting my work. Today am tired, and weary. Reached Penang last nite, about 9pm, then after dinner and packing my stuff, collapse into deep sleep. So tired.
Yesterday was stuck in KLIA for almost 5 hours. I was so confident that will able to get standby flight yesterday. My original departure is 7.15pm, but since nothing much in the conference, we went off after lunch. 5 hours time...even though tiring, but it's passed by very fast. Maybe because I didn't travel alone, was travelling with Mei Jen, the Head of Pharmacy in Loh Guan Lye Specialist Centre. This round workshop was very boring, the lecturers really boring, loaded us with "Educational and Scientific" lectures which is not really practical.
One surprise I wanna share here that's happening during the trip. There're 3 persons from penang attending the conference: myself, Mei Jen, and Ganesh from Pantai Mutiara. And I meet up with Ms Chua, from Fatimah Hospital, Ipoh. Usually whenever I go KL, I'll go out with my frens, Christian frens: Kawai, Angie, Lee Hua, Kenneth etc. But this round trip is different. I spent more time with Pharmacists, people I am not very close with. And thru this trip too, I get to know more about the persons. And guess what? I brought 3 frens to SIB Church. It's my first time attending the church, and 3 non-Christians were with me for the first time too. Isn't it cool?!!
Wow, I am tired, so tired today. Lack of sleep. Tonite will have meeting with Emmeline and Jerry on their wedding, am a Sub-corordinator again. Up to date, been co-ordinate for 4 times, plus with this one. I notice that weddings nowadays has become more 'fancy'. My fren spent more than RM55,000 just for a wedding. Gosh! Wedding is just for a moment, but marriage a lifetime. I wonder how my wedding will be? Oh oh..Shirley's Day-dreaming now...Hahahaha..
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Future...Thinking much
22th June 2007,
7.00pm Thursday. Am in the hospital, yup yup..I know it's late, but am not going home after this. Gonna be attending a talk on 'L-Dopa induced Motor Complication", at E&O Hotel, so staying back, gonna be going after this blog. Life is routine, I always said that. Nothing much to update nowadays, probably I just not good in expressing my thoughts in words.
Life is good, and should be greater each day. A positive note for the beginning. We had our Department Meeting yesterday, and Magdalene has announced to the staff that she is leaving. People were guessing the reasons behind it, some said, maybe she got better offer, a better prospect, another jokingly said, "Is she gonna get married?". Mag was bombarded with a lot of questions: 'Why are you leaving?". And she answered, oh, am starting anew, to relocate to Perlis to start a mission work. Jaw dropped! Everyone just couldn't believe it. Why? Why she do that? Leaving everything behind to go for mission? Oh! Some arguements, won't say arguement, maybe discussion going round about the same topic. She must be crazy, why make such unwise decision? She can just take a few months off, and try out before giving up the job and 'burn the bridge'?? Why?
Magdalene's resignation made me think a lot. What about me? Will I leave everything? Answering the calls. What is God's calling for me? Do I have such faith to leave? Or maybe venturing into some other opportunities? Hmm...will I able to be bold to explore other opportunitues or, am I closed myself and settle for what I have now? Hmm..I start to put on my thinking cap. I've been here for 4 years huh? Right from my internship, this considered as my 1st job. So when I gonna relocate? I've shared this to my staff, Choong. She said- No need, here is good enough for a gal- stable and safe position. Will I ever make my first move to relocate? Yeah, when the times right, if I have a better offer, I don't mind. Or, *grinning* if I ever get married out from Penang, I really don't mind. I am not really a career women, really! Never thought of climbing corporate ladder, or even be a Head of Pharmacy. My ambition is to be a 'wife' and a good 'mother'. Ohh!!! Somebody laugh at me now. Yes, really! Believe me! My heart is for home and family.
I have a Volunteer Pharmacist working with me. Her name is Connie, and she should be in her 30's plus, with 3 children and a Korean husband. She has not been working for 9 years, since she married to Korea, she has been a wife and mother to her children. Now, she's here in Penang, she wants to update her knowledge and refresh up, so she's voluntering attached here to learn. Nice lady, she shared a lot with me, and guess what? She even planning to introduce her husband's cousin who's still single to me. She said..he's rich and looking for a wife outside of Korea. Gee...I really can't imagine that.
Life is good, and I've come to certain level: mid-life, to think what I really want in life. Am I wasting my life? Do I enjoying my life? Am I being purposeful? Ecclesiastes: Vanity, vanity, everything is vanity. . . To fear God and heed the Commandment is the life.
7.00pm Thursday. Am in the hospital, yup yup..I know it's late, but am not going home after this. Gonna be attending a talk on 'L-Dopa induced Motor Complication", at E&O Hotel, so staying back, gonna be going after this blog. Life is routine, I always said that. Nothing much to update nowadays, probably I just not good in expressing my thoughts in words.
Life is good, and should be greater each day. A positive note for the beginning. We had our Department Meeting yesterday, and Magdalene has announced to the staff that she is leaving. People were guessing the reasons behind it, some said, maybe she got better offer, a better prospect, another jokingly said, "Is she gonna get married?". Mag was bombarded with a lot of questions: 'Why are you leaving?". And she answered, oh, am starting anew, to relocate to Perlis to start a mission work. Jaw dropped! Everyone just couldn't believe it. Why? Why she do that? Leaving everything behind to go for mission? Oh! Some arguements, won't say arguement, maybe discussion going round about the same topic. She must be crazy, why make such unwise decision? She can just take a few months off, and try out before giving up the job and 'burn the bridge'?? Why?
Magdalene's resignation made me think a lot. What about me? Will I leave everything? Answering the calls. What is God's calling for me? Do I have such faith to leave? Or maybe venturing into some other opportunities? Hmm...will I able to be bold to explore other opportunitues or, am I closed myself and settle for what I have now? Hmm..I start to put on my thinking cap. I've been here for 4 years huh? Right from my internship, this considered as my 1st job. So when I gonna relocate? I've shared this to my staff, Choong. She said- No need, here is good enough for a gal- stable and safe position. Will I ever make my first move to relocate? Yeah, when the times right, if I have a better offer, I don't mind. Or, *grinning* if I ever get married out from Penang, I really don't mind. I am not really a career women, really! Never thought of climbing corporate ladder, or even be a Head of Pharmacy. My ambition is to be a 'wife' and a good 'mother'. Ohh!!! Somebody laugh at me now. Yes, really! Believe me! My heart is for home and family.
I have a Volunteer Pharmacist working with me. Her name is Connie, and she should be in her 30's plus, with 3 children and a Korean husband. She has not been working for 9 years, since she married to Korea, she has been a wife and mother to her children. Now, she's here in Penang, she wants to update her knowledge and refresh up, so she's voluntering attached here to learn. Nice lady, she shared a lot with me, and guess what? She even planning to introduce her husband's cousin who's still single to me. She said..he's rich and looking for a wife outside of Korea. Gee...I really can't imagine that.
Life is good, and I've come to certain level: mid-life, to think what I really want in life. Am I wasting my life? Do I enjoying my life? Am I being purposeful? Ecclesiastes: Vanity, vanity, everything is vanity. . . To fear God and heed the Commandment is the life.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Nothing Less Than God's Best
12th June 2007,
5.00pm Tuesday. :PP Yeah, been So SO long didn't update my blogs. Life is just so so busy. Or maybe didn't really 'make' time for blogging. Was thinking better not to delay anymore, or else will forgotten what I wanna mark on my journey throughout the months.
Today I created a door-sign: "SORRY...REAL BUSY, DO NOT DISTURB" and hang it on my door. Yeah, got to do that, or else too many people to entertain, my work will not get done. Work is alright, today I received a call from someone saying that my ex-boss will be joining Mount Miriam this Monday, and will be the Head of Pharmacy there. At that point when hearing such news, am pretty threaten, am afraid he will pull my staff to join Mt Miriam, but after thinking a while, I don't think my staff will join there. I am proudly said Gleneagles is a very good company, much better benefit compared to other company, and moreover I'm such a good boss. Right?! I think many will agree with me on that. :PP
Magdalene has hand over her resignation letter. She confirmed leaving the coming Sept 9th or even earlier, and I will be interviewing another gal this coming Friday. She's previously working as Regulatory Pharmacist with Bayer with Managerial Position, and now applying here. And furthermore, she's much older than me. Quite scare, a thought comes in, that she may threathen my position here. Oh...how foolish Shirley can be, thinking such things, an insult to God, insecurity? Position? Oh, I should look to God, He is the rewarder of all things. I'm secure in Him, and in Him alone. Gonna take hold of that.
Just now my coursemate called, she thought I'm gonna resign. I told her no, it's wrong rumour. I will still stay, until when? I really don't know, until when? What is my future like? What I'm gonna be doing 10 years down the road? What is my plan maybe 5 years from now? Oh...I really don't know. I am doing my best in work, in family, in church. Other than that, I really don't know.
My future is in Your Hands Lord. I claim on Your promises, You always have a good plan for me, to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me hope and future. I commit my desires to You, nothing less than Your best. I hold on to You, knowing every good and perfect gift is from You, and Yours is the best, nothing less than Your best. Lord, I'm not gonna give my soul to another..only You deserve my highest praise.
5.00pm Tuesday. :PP Yeah, been So SO long didn't update my blogs. Life is just so so busy. Or maybe didn't really 'make' time for blogging. Was thinking better not to delay anymore, or else will forgotten what I wanna mark on my journey throughout the months.
Today I created a door-sign: "SORRY...REAL BUSY, DO NOT DISTURB" and hang it on my door. Yeah, got to do that, or else too many people to entertain, my work will not get done. Work is alright, today I received a call from someone saying that my ex-boss will be joining Mount Miriam this Monday, and will be the Head of Pharmacy there. At that point when hearing such news, am pretty threaten, am afraid he will pull my staff to join Mt Miriam, but after thinking a while, I don't think my staff will join there. I am proudly said Gleneagles is a very good company, much better benefit compared to other company, and moreover I'm such a good boss. Right?! I think many will agree with me on that. :PP
Magdalene has hand over her resignation letter. She confirmed leaving the coming Sept 9th or even earlier, and I will be interviewing another gal this coming Friday. She's previously working as Regulatory Pharmacist with Bayer with Managerial Position, and now applying here. And furthermore, she's much older than me. Quite scare, a thought comes in, that she may threathen my position here. Oh...how foolish Shirley can be, thinking such things, an insult to God, insecurity? Position? Oh, I should look to God, He is the rewarder of all things. I'm secure in Him, and in Him alone. Gonna take hold of that.
Just now my coursemate called, she thought I'm gonna resign. I told her no, it's wrong rumour. I will still stay, until when? I really don't know, until when? What is my future like? What I'm gonna be doing 10 years down the road? What is my plan maybe 5 years from now? Oh...I really don't know. I am doing my best in work, in family, in church. Other than that, I really don't know.
My future is in Your Hands Lord. I claim on Your promises, You always have a good plan for me, to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me hope and future. I commit my desires to You, nothing less than Your best. I hold on to You, knowing every good and perfect gift is from You, and Yours is the best, nothing less than Your best. Lord, I'm not gonna give my soul to another..only You deserve my highest praise.
Monday, May 21, 2007
May's Happenings
21st May 2007,
5.15pm. Monday blues. Today was extremely hectic day. Almost the whole day in the lab- training on Cytotoxic Drug Recons. Has been real long didn't update with the blogs. Many traveling, and busy busy schedule. Went to KL for MPS AGM Seminars, at Crowne Princess Hotel for the weekends, then a week after fly to Kota Kinabalu for Pharmacist Asthma Workshop. Stayed in Tanjung Aru, with huge room, nice place but too but, am traveling alone and staying alone. A week after, went to Johor, stayed at Zone Regency Hotel with Celina. Tiring, exhausted yet learned a lot, interesting updates and meeting up with fella-Pharmacist from different states was pretty beneficial experience. Hope after this won't have much of traveling. Yup, I dislike traveling, and usually require much replenishment pre and post-travel. Guess am aging, body not able to cope with the change of environment.
Life was well, am living well, with routine and a few ups and downs. May is grooming month, and a special month of me growing another year old. Believe it or not, Yes.. I am in my 30'S. Many said my look doesn't reflect my age, I was guessed to be younger by 5 years. Some said I look like 27 some said hmm....25. So I should be happy, looks younger :PP Hmmm..this year not much of celebration. Was in KK during my BD, after back Pg, was blessed with many friends wishing me, and putting up a lunch-date with me. Usually every year BD I'll pampered myself with grooming and buying more new clothes. This year without exception, I finally bought for myself a Nokia 6300, slim type, with MP3 and 2 Megapixel Camera. I am rewarding myself. Am happy, has been many many many years with my old hard-knock phone, now some change- stepping up the standard.
As for spiritual side, I guess I'm probably still in honey-moon stage: Autumn? A relax and cool state? Will see how it grows. My CG multiplied last 2 weeks. I did not attend the multiplication service, was in Johore that time. The new CG which I belong to, is called "Shekinah" CG, lead by Maribec (Becky), my Phillipino's fren. The new venue for the CG is at my home. Ya Ya, my HOME, Shirley's House! Cool isn't it? My house has always been place for fellow Christian to meet up and shared the Word. I do hope I can commit to the little that I have.
Work wise: good, am handling well, have few trainees with us, hope with the new CDR setup will get us going somewhere. My relationship with Felix had been restored. Don't know how it happened, but we can talk more now. Although not as much as last time, but at least we talk, and he's in the same CG as mine. I'm moving forward, with what I have, with what my hands hold- am moving on. Even though the road is winding, and the trying timeis hard sometimes, I gonna trust Daddy, who hold my hands in this race that I run.
Daddy, I love You. If You asked me "How much do you love me?" I don't dare to say "This much or that much" How can I measure my love? But Daddy, you know my heart, You know that I truly love You. I may fail many times, or turn my own way, or even holding on to my own strength and effort, but Daddy You never fails, NEVER! Your love extends to the heaven...How great is Your love Lord. Daddy, forgive me, how many time have I broken Your heart, forgive me, and lead me back, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. I surrender Lord, grant me the knowledge of Your will, and the wisdom and the Will-Power to go on. Am tired, really tired! But am holding on to You Daddy!
5.15pm. Monday blues. Today was extremely hectic day. Almost the whole day in the lab- training on Cytotoxic Drug Recons. Has been real long didn't update with the blogs. Many traveling, and busy busy schedule. Went to KL for MPS AGM Seminars, at Crowne Princess Hotel for the weekends, then a week after fly to Kota Kinabalu for Pharmacist Asthma Workshop. Stayed in Tanjung Aru, with huge room, nice place but too but, am traveling alone and staying alone. A week after, went to Johor, stayed at Zone Regency Hotel with Celina. Tiring, exhausted yet learned a lot, interesting updates and meeting up with fella-Pharmacist from different states was pretty beneficial experience. Hope after this won't have much of traveling. Yup, I dislike traveling, and usually require much replenishment pre and post-travel. Guess am aging, body not able to cope with the change of environment.
Life was well, am living well, with routine and a few ups and downs. May is grooming month, and a special month of me growing another year old. Believe it or not, Yes.. I am in my 30'S. Many said my look doesn't reflect my age, I was guessed to be younger by 5 years. Some said I look like 27 some said hmm....25. So I should be happy, looks younger :PP Hmmm..this year not much of celebration. Was in KK during my BD, after back Pg, was blessed with many friends wishing me, and putting up a lunch-date with me. Usually every year BD I'll pampered myself with grooming and buying more new clothes. This year without exception, I finally bought for myself a Nokia 6300, slim type, with MP3 and 2 Megapixel Camera. I am rewarding myself. Am happy, has been many many many years with my old hard-knock phone, now some change- stepping up the standard.
As for spiritual side, I guess I'm probably still in honey-moon stage: Autumn? A relax and cool state? Will see how it grows. My CG multiplied last 2 weeks. I did not attend the multiplication service, was in Johore that time. The new CG which I belong to, is called "Shekinah" CG, lead by Maribec (Becky), my Phillipino's fren. The new venue for the CG is at my home. Ya Ya, my HOME, Shirley's House! Cool isn't it? My house has always been place for fellow Christian to meet up and shared the Word. I do hope I can commit to the little that I have.
Work wise: good, am handling well, have few trainees with us, hope with the new CDR setup will get us going somewhere. My relationship with Felix had been restored. Don't know how it happened, but we can talk more now. Although not as much as last time, but at least we talk, and he's in the same CG as mine. I'm moving forward, with what I have, with what my hands hold- am moving on. Even though the road is winding, and the trying timeis hard sometimes, I gonna trust Daddy, who hold my hands in this race that I run.
Daddy, I love You. If You asked me "How much do you love me?" I don't dare to say "This much or that much" How can I measure my love? But Daddy, you know my heart, You know that I truly love You. I may fail many times, or turn my own way, or even holding on to my own strength and effort, but Daddy You never fails, NEVER! Your love extends to the heaven...How great is Your love Lord. Daddy, forgive me, how many time have I broken Your heart, forgive me, and lead me back, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. I surrender Lord, grant me the knowledge of Your will, and the wisdom and the Will-Power to go on. Am tired, really tired! But am holding on to You Daddy!
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